The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives<\/em><\/em><\/u> completely took over my life<\/u><\/a>. I never quite recovered from the psychological torture inflicted by its breakout season, and with season two\u2019s bombshell impact on Hulu still reverberating through the atmosphere, I fear I\u2019ve lost all grip on normalcy in the world, let alone my own sanity. <\/p>\nThe hit show about swinging Mormons and the women they punish online for fun is just about the only thing anyone talks about these days, least of all Nick Viall and his podcast listeners. Fresh on the heels of a season that redefined the reality television format, launching a veritable new empire at Hulu, season two follows on many of the same plot threads that captured audiences the first go around: Taylor has more swinging scandal allegations to contend with, Whitney is still fighting for her life in the comment section, Jessi and Demi are still skulking about and Jen still cannot escape the world\u2019s most obviously toxic marriage. <\/p>\n
The newcomer on the block is Miranda, one-third of the swinging triad that broke apart Taylor\u2019s life after the swinging scandal hit TikTok eons ago now. She\u2019s initially hesitant to engage with the allegations stacked against her, let alone film with a woman whose mouth was surgically replaced with a loose cannon. She adds an interesting duel element of naivet\u00e9 and cunning to the proceedings, constantly dangling viewers in the mystery of her own intentions. <\/p>\n
Whitney, as stated, cannot help but install herself as Taylor\u2019s arch-nemesis, however hard Demi spends the ten episodes reaching for that mantle. As Mikayla breaks out of the shell of femininity and Jen ensconces herself in off-the-shoulder sweaters, Taylor\u2019s mom emerges with an entirely new face, signaling an undercurrent of narcissism matched only by Broadway\u2019s most infamous stage mom, Mama Rose. It explains much of what transpires with Taylor over the ten episodes, as her life teeters towards absolute chaos over and over again at various sexy costume parties. <\/p>\n
If it\u2019s not obvious already, the fashion on this show is half the storytelling, considering how tight-lipped these Mormons are about life in the shadow of the temple. Like last time, I\u2019ve conducted an exhaustive fashion psychoanalysis of the season that, I think, should be admissible in court as a sign of my declining cognitive functions after the damage inflicted by Jessi\u2019s hair extensions on my frontal lobe. <\/p>\n
Shall we?<\/p>\n
Taylor<\/h3>\n
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The leader of the group, we see a softer side of Taylor this season. Her television debut, as I noted last year, initially leaned into her messy characterization, from teeny little confessional dresses to Pamela Anderson by way of Utah updos. We saw a notable shift after her second child was born, transitioning her from the village Jezebel to the postpartum on-and-off again single mother. Quite interestingly, this acted as a perfect foil to her onscreen foil, Whitney, the only woman to date who\u2019s successfully gone toe to toe with Taylor and survived the struggle. Where Whitney\u2019s fashion profile leans into poofy, doll-like dresses, Taylor flags her lifestyle change with variations on her wardrobe in soft nudes pastels, instead of high contrast colors. They\u2019re still itty-bitty, though!<\/p>\n
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This second confessional look is emblematic of this change, replacing the traditional hemline with a frilled, faux-drop waist cut. It\u2019s softer, don\u2019t you see? She\u2019s a totally different woman with hair that\u2019s shiny instead of matted (with sin).<\/p>\n
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When not in jeans or soft dresses, the old Taylor likes to express herself in other ways, like on Halloween. Here she is as a sexy woman in a Temu catsuit. Still, the hair is shiny now! The shiniest it\u2019s ever been in her life. <\/p>\n
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To repent, she pulled out the angel wings from her sex accessory closet and put on a drop shoulder dress in lily white. Although her hair is always shiny, doesn\u2019t it look extra big and extra shiny here? Perhaps it’s been heavily moisturized with the extra money she makes selling her coworkers out on TikTok.<\/p>\n
Whitney<\/h3>\n
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The headmistress of the Mormon Academy for Wayward Girls is back in the booth with a frilly dress on \u2014 a likely place for her to be! She\u2019s quite understated in the glam department this season, considering her near-perpetual state of pregnancy. Who has time to accessorize anyway? Whitney should, but I\u2019ll give her a pass, since she had the most definable style evolution this season.<\/p>\n
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If her anxious attachment style to ruffled outfits wasn\u2019t obvious enough from the confessional, here\u2019s what she wore to a Mormon ritual for her newborn. Their matching color scheme is quite funny to me, as is her flower crown. Likewise, I find this shoulder cut quite silly, as now the ruffles go in both directions, but at least we know what she likes! And again, the desire here seems to trend towards the most overtly \u201cgirly\u201d or doll-like clothing she can find. Like a living Labubu plush after a Drag Race fan has dressed it in their favorite queen\u2019s daytime realness drag.<\/p>\n
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If her anxious attachment style to ruffled outfits wasn\u2019t obvious enough from the confessional, here\u2019s what she wore to a Mormon ritual for her newborn. Their matching color scheme is quite funny to me, as is her flower crown. Likewise, I find this shoulder cut quite silly, as now the ruffles go in both directions, but at least we know what she likes! And again, the desire here seems to trend towards the most overtly \u201cgirly\u201d or doll-like clothing she can find. Like a living Labubu plush after a Drag Race fan has dressed it in their favorite queen\u2019s daytime realness drag.<\/p>\n
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Her second confessional look is the understated older sister of the first, relying on those cool-toned greens and blues she gravitates towards, while having less overt detail. More than any of the other castmates, she\u2019s the one I can most clearly visualize on the prairie in a covered wagon, praying to the imaginary pioneer in the sky for salvation from crop disease and coyotes.<\/p>\n
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Remember what I said about dressing like a doll? Here she is at the finale party, with sleeves so big and then sleeves so small. I\u2019ve seen the balloon effect get ran into the ground these last few years, but the addition of more fabric down to the wrist is Big Cap Sleeve\u2019s death knell \u2014 a full tilt towards absolute madness, really.<\/p>\n
That said, I appreciate that her and her husband lean into the aesthetic of Mad Men<\/em><\/em> extras on that one season when it was randomly the \u201870s.<\/p>\n<\/h3>\n
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We also saw a variety of interesting sweaters and cardigans across the board this season, the most notable on Whitney being ones with red stitching and appliques. I don\u2019t like either, but I do like the vibe of wearing a Christmas sweater all-year round. <\/p>\n
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We also saw a variety of interesting sweaters and cardigans across the board this season, the most notable on Whitney being ones with red stitching and appliques. I don\u2019t like either, but I do like the vibe of wearing a Christmas sweater all-year round. <\/p>\n
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A lot has been said about Whitney, but I came away from this season finding her the most easily watchable of the bunch. There\u2019s simply no world where this show exists without her or Taylor, and for that, I hope they continue to spiral around each other until the kinetic force of their feud causes Yellowstone to erupt. Likewise, who else is this pregnant and still hopping up on a mechanical bull in novelty fishnet tights and a pink cowgirl hat?<\/p>\n
Demi<\/h3>\n
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Speaking of villains, Demi here did her best shot at television infamy this season. Whether it was inflaming the abusive elements in Jen\u2019s marriage or throwing coworkers under the bus, this Patron Saint of Low-Contrast Nude Clothing made sure to keep herself in the mix. I just wish the fashions could keep up with the impish personality.<\/p>\n
This first outfit is like if the Amazon AI gained sentience and designed Skims ripoffs out of plastic it found on the trash island somewhere out in the Pacific. <\/p>\n
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Elsewhere in another earth tone, she rocked up to the influencer event with a zip dress and giant belt. I like that these women shop ASOS like the rest of their viewership, and by shop, I mean open packages in the mail and pick which they\u2019re going to film in. I like nothing about this except the little purse, because my heart is pure. <\/p>\n
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This dress is fascinating, because it\u2019s a sequined outfit that is still sheer enough to show her modesty bra underneath. This ruching detail down sternum the front is also an interesting sign of the times, considering its trickled down from the runways to The Real Housewives<\/em><\/em> to the Love Island<\/em><\/em> beachwear emporium to the Dress Barn sale section. If only we had a reboot of The Devil Wears Prada<\/em><\/em> where someone makes a joke about this.<\/p>\n<\/h3>\n
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When not in clingy nudes, Demi seemed patently obsessed with this very specific style of nightie, where it\u2019s a black lace or otherwise bust into a silk a-line skirt. I\u2019m constantly recommended these when shopping for toothpaste and cat food prescriptions on Amazon, and was curious who in the world could possibly be buying them in such large quantities. Looks like we found the culprit. <\/p>\n
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When not in clingy nudes, Demi seemed patently obsessed with this very specific style of nightie, where it\u2019s a black lace or otherwise bust into a silk a-line skirt. I\u2019m constantly recommended these when shopping for toothpaste and cat food prescriptions on Amazon, and was curious who in the world could possibly be buying them in such large quantities. Looks like we found the culprit. <\/p>\n
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To Demi\u2019s credit, she wore a lot of clothing to talk about this season. That\u2019s more than half this ensemble could say for themselves, and I thank her for that. Specifically, let\u2019s clap for this arch-nemesis ensemble she rocked up to the finale party wearing. Don\u2019t just clap, stand up and cheer while you\u2019re at it. The deep side part, the ten pounds of extensions, the red fur coat and matching velvet lipstick, the column dress, the cat eye? I burst out laughing, a sensation totally foreign to me when watching this show. <\/p>\n
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To Demi\u2019s credit, she wore a lot of clothing to talk about this season. That\u2019s more than half this ensemble could say for themselves, and I thank her for that. Specifically, let\u2019s clap for this arch-nemesis ensemble she rocked up to the finale party wearing. Don\u2019t just clap, stand up and cheer while you\u2019re at it. The deep side part, the ten pounds of extensions, the red fur coat and matching velvet lipstick, the column dress, the cat eye? I burst out laughing, a sensation totally foreign to me when watching this show. <\/p>\n
Jen<\/h3>\n
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I just know a drop shoulder hates to see Jen and her lipliner coming. Because she is the tortured mother on the brink this season, it\u2019s interesting to see her fashions mirror the crisis she\u2019s experiencing. In just about every scene, she\u2019s ensconced by the clothing, whether it be pillowy sweaters in elegant creams or voluminous sleeves. They quite literally look like shells on her, or an egg a baby bird\u2019s about to hatch from. It\u2019s not helpful that she infantilizes herself to please her controlling monster of a husband, only deepening the symbolism.<\/p>\n
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I\u2019d call her outfit to the influencer event in the first episode her most adventurous silhouette all season. Still, I\u2019m confused by the garment though, as it looks like a cotton t-shirt with polyester ruffled sleeves. While I\u2019m unsure this is something actual people not being paid to wear clothing to influencer events would pick off a rack, Utah is essentially a different planet. I\u2019m open to being wrong!<\/p>\n
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Speaking of drop shoulder sweaters, here\u2019s Jen\u2019s collection of them. I was initially repulsed by them, but I\u2019ve grown to love that she\u2019s been plucked out of the background in a Nora Ephron movie and given an international platform to cry on TV. She\u2019s sort of the spiritual successor to the Diane Keaton cinematic persona, if you think about it.<\/p>\n
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Speaking of drop shoulder sweaters, here\u2019s Jen\u2019s collection of them. I was initially repulsed by them, but I\u2019ve grown to love that she\u2019s been plucked out of the background in a Nora Ephron movie and given an international platform to cry on TV. She\u2019s sort of the spiritual successor to the Diane Keaton cinematic persona, if you think about it.<\/p>\n
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Speaking of drop shoulder sweaters, here\u2019s Jen\u2019s collection of them. I was initially repulsed by them, but I\u2019ve grown to love that she\u2019s been plucked out of the background in a Nora Ephron movie and given an international platform to cry on TV. She\u2019s sort of the spiritual successor to the Diane Keaton cinematic persona, if you think about it.<\/p>\n
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If it\u2019s not a drop shoulder, it’s a cold shoulder. And if it\u2019s not a drop shoulder, it\u2019s a coat dropped off the shoulder. And if that sweater doesn\u2019t have a folded collar, you better keep it away from her entirely! How else will she feel the cool breeze of the winter air on her skin while she longingly stares past the horizon?<\/p>\n
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Remember the Mormon swinging scandal that started it all? Well, another challenger has entered the ring: Miranda! Imagine if Taylor was blonde and a single mom, which doesn\u2019t really take much imagination, but does wrap up just about everything you need to know concerning Miranda\u2019s arc this season. She\u2019s a bit of a liar, impulsive, impish, embarrassed by her swinging antics, and has hair down to her ass. She also dresses like if Taylor that first season wore emeralds instead of fuschias, exemplified by these confessional looks.<\/p>\n
Generally, I\u2019m the least offended by her fashion sensibilities this season among her cohort. In fact, I quite like her quirked-up wardrobe, which reads like a suburban girl who looks at Instagram accounts from Los Angeles-New York influencers instead of Nashville influencers. <\/p>\n
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The key detail is this muscle tank with the layered necklaces, specifically that Prada-like pendant. Maybe I hyperfixate on specificities like this, but I find it quite revealing about her identity!<\/p>\n
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If we needed more proof, here\u2019s that same necklace with a shrugged hoodie, oval sunnies, and a muscle tank. Amanda Batula wore this on Summer House<\/em> at least once in a recent season, let alone all the influencers at Coachella who flew in from the coastlines. <\/p>\n<\/h3>\n
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Still, Utah is like a disease, and while one can rail against the strictures of suburban homogeneity, they can never escape them. Not even in pigtail braids and a Hamptons novelty sweatshirt. Just clock the highlights and honey-brown eyebrow pomade! A TikToker in the West Village is struggling to hatch from this egg.<\/p>\n
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In that aforementioned scene, where Whitney showed up with felt bows stapled to her sweater, here\u2019s what Miranda wore. I cackled at the lunacy of this Paddington in Peru<\/em><\/em> costume. She\u2019s dressed for white water rafting on the Hudson River, and I wish her the very best life has to offer in the endeavor. <\/p>\nJessi<\/h3>\n
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Jessi served her function as the minor villain this season by installing ten pounds of hair on her head and digging through Kate Hudson\u2019s closet. Generally speaking, neither are bad skills to have when your side-job is skulking about on reality television in nude lipgloss and arguing with Mormons at theme parties.<\/p>\n
Jessi<\/h3>\n
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Jessi served her function as the minor villain this season by installing ten pounds of hair on her head and digging through Kate Hudson\u2019s closet. Generally speaking, neither are bad skills to have when your side-job is skulking about on reality television in nude lipgloss and arguing with Mormons at theme parties.<\/p>\n
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At the aforementioned theme party, she and the additional fifteen pounds of hair on her head wore Temu Jennifer Lopez drag to match her husband in his Dunkin Donuts costume. They\u2019re Bennifer, get it! Too bad that love story died, but it\u2019s an interesting foreshadowing of the troubles in their own marriage teased at the end of the season. This is why you don\u2019t dress like Jennifer Lopez, except if you\u2019re Jennifer Lopez! That woman was cursed by a witch decades ago, and to replicate her image invites the evil eye.<\/p>\n
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I\u2019m fixated on the sweaters this season because each of the women have such interesting perspectives on sweaters. Of them all, I\u2019m most likely to rummage around in Jessi\u2019s closet for this Blue\u2019s Clues<\/em> getup.<\/p>\nMayci<\/h3>\n
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Readers will remember that I was drawn to Mayci\u2019s eclectic-for-Utah wardrobe last season, so it saddens me to see she\u2019s ditched the leather jackets for pastel blue clubwear. We\u2019ve lost another one to the Mormon aesthetic! Fame kills, especially the sort of fame that invites clingy little outfits in the mail that collect in landfills around the world.<\/p>\n
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Her abandonment of fashion identity this season saddens me more when the only other outfit of note I found was this Poppi sweater. I wonder if she bought it or was given it at an event. The bitter symbolism, regardless, stings quite a bit.<\/p>\n
Mikayla<\/h3>\n
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I almost passed on Mikayla\u2019s second confessional look, thinking it was the exact same dress. In many ways it is the exact same dress, if not just in cut and color, but in spirit too. There\u2019s a safety Mikayla feels in it, a reliance on an expression of femininity found in its energetic aura. It makes sense she\u2019d lean on what she feels most comfortable in, considering a bulk of her plot this season detailed healing from, and finding solace in, her therapy sessions to deal with past trauma. <\/p>\n
Mikayla<\/h3>\n
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I almost passed on Mikayla\u2019s second confessional look, thinking it was the exact same dress. In many ways it is the exact same dress, if not just in cut and color, but in spirit too. There\u2019s a safety Mikayla feels in it, a reliance on an expression of femininity found in its energetic aura. It makes sense she\u2019d lean on what she feels most comfortable in, considering a bulk of her plot this season detailed healing from, and finding solace in, her therapy sessions to deal with past trauma. <\/p>\n
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The contrast between her confessionals and end-of-season garb is astounding, but again, a subconscious play at her growth all season long. Instead of a muted, soft dress, she chose this slinky red cutout number with an exposed leg and ostrich feathers no less. Of course, it wouldn\u2019t be Utah if she didn\u2019t downplay the sexiness with a fur shoulder wrap to cover up her bust. Still, she\u2019s like if Mrs. Claus got a divorce and a credit card. Kudos! I wish her nothing but the very best.<\/p>\n
Layla<\/h3>\n
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I\u2019m curious if the women were assigned colors for their confessional looks and asked to stick within certain parameters, considering these are incredibly similar dresses, like many of her castmates. Red is a phenomenal color on Layla, so my only complaint is found in the details. Like the others, sans Whitney, her hair is long and shiny, her jewelry understated, her makeup soft and understated. Her nails are nude, her dress clingy but not overtly sexy. Like her character arc this season, there\u2019s nothing standout or definable to cling to. She\u2019s just another Mormon castaway, adrift in a sea of Utah curls and bad politics.<\/p>\n
Layla<\/h3>\n
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I\u2019m curious if the women were assigned colors for their confessional looks and asked to stick within certain parameters, considering these are incredibly similar dresses, like many of her castmates. Red is a phenomenal color on Layla, so my only complaint is found in the details. Like the others, sans Whitney, her hair is long and shiny, her jewelry understated, her makeup soft and understated. Her nails are nude, her dress clingy but not overtly sexy. Like her character arc this season, there\u2019s nothing standout or definable to cling to. She\u2019s just another Mormon castaway, adrift in a sea of Utah curls and bad politics.<\/p>\n
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The newest full-time cast member this season was a surprise twist. Please welcome to the stage the newest Mama Rose in the Broadway revival of Gypsy<\/em><\/em>! Taylor\u2019s mom is back with a new face and more hate in her heart than most could stand to live with. And let\u2019s not forget her mesh and lace cutout tops and tight black pants and near-constant insistence that she could be Taylor\u2019s age, if anyone cared to ask instead of skirting ten feet around her at the grocery store.<\/p>\nMama Rose<\/h3>\n
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The newest full-time cast member this season was a surprise twist. Please welcome to the stage the newest Mama Rose in the Broadway revival of Gypsy<\/em><\/em>! Taylor\u2019s mom is back with a new face and more hate in her heart than most could stand to live with. And let\u2019s not forget her mesh and lace cutout tops and tight black pants and near-constant insistence that she could be Taylor\u2019s age, if anyone cared to ask instead of skirting ten feet around her at the grocery store.<\/p>\n<\/h3>\n
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The group scenes are always a wonderful display of various character motivations, considering the range of outfits seen here at the lingerie sex party. Taylor is essentially naked by Mormon standards, while Mikayla is as covered up as can be, and Demi pushes the edge just slightly with her robe. It\u2019s Demi I\u2019m most interested in, considering there\u2019s a scene later in the season where she\u2019s instructed not to push the envelope by her husband, contrary to their image on the show of the fun and easygoing couple. <\/p>\n
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I also love when Demi and Jessi film scenes together, because from behind, their heights are the only distinguishing characteristics about them. That, and Jessi\u2019s brown cow stunning top is probably the most adventurous garment seen all season long, besides Mikayla\u2019s Mrs. Claus drag.<\/p>\n
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This one scene in particular is the perfect example of how they all play on variations of the same outfit. Taylor has the relaxed denim and keyhole cutout sweater, while Mikayla is in a sensible cardigan and muted skirt. Mayci, on the far end, jazzed up her off-the-shoulder sweater with ripped skinny jeans.<\/p>\n
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Their fashion identities, however subtle, again broke through at the Mormon bake sale event. Mikayla is once again completely covered, but not overly matronly. Whitney has enough ruffles to pop in behind a Bridgerton<\/em> actress at a party scene, while Taylor has her tits out and leather boots on. Demi has an off-the-shoulder sweater dress that pushes the boundaries just a bit with thigh high boots, while Layla\u2019s column dress shows a different approach to off-the-shoulder cuts by also being made of lace. Miranda, meanwhile, popped in from line dancing at a country western novelty night in SoHo.<\/p>\n<\/h3>\n
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Even their New Orleans trip has so much character detailing in the outfits! Layla and Miranda are the most overtly sexualized, while Jessi is over accessorized to the hilt. Mikayla\u2019s modest off-the-shoulder column dress is her most daring look yet, while still quite modest. Mayci, meanwhile, freed from the restraints of Utah, has pulled the leather out from her closet. Whitney, as always, is dressed in costume more than she\u2019s dressed in fashion, and here goes Demi in a silk slip. <\/p>\n
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Photos courtesy of Hulu<\/em><\/p>\n<\/br><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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